The Sven-Log Number 1

Dear Reader,

It feels weird to start a post like that, but well, that's what this new format I'm trying out feels like - just writing from the top of my head without second guessing about all the things that happened this week in my work life - kind of like a work-related diary.

Anyway, I also just realized that I am writing in English. You might wonder why: Well, I just finished writing my copies for Project 33 in English, and my brain didn't make the switch yet. It's simple as that.

Anyhow, this week was somewhat of a challenge and got me thinking: How many balls are you supposed to juggle simultaneously? Currently, I have 4 in the air, which are 1) project33, 2) my own clients, 3) contea.ai, and 4/ my own content

And most of the time, it works. This is partly because I actually enjoy what I am doing but also because I am a very organized person. Usually, I am very good with time management and getting things done before the deadline.

However, this only works until something goes wrong and something unexpected happens. And there always is something unexpected - one of life's few certainties - the unexpected.

In my case, it was a sickness. Some flu I got in Floripa (damn it, I decided to go out ONCE in around three months, enjoy myself a bit, drink three beers, and directly get sick, it sucks), But well, anyhow. This also meant: One week of no work.

This has been a physical but also a mental challenge for me. It's the first time I have had to take a break since I quit my job and started working as a freelancer/starting a new company. And it's a whole different experience.

When working in a regular job, being sick still sucks. But you're also like: "Ah well, I'll catch up where I left, and if there is something urgent, my colleagues will take over." When you work as a freelancer, there are no colleagues to rely on.

Same with contea.ai. Luckily I have an awesome cofounder with Nico who has a work ethic like an ant. But still, with some things, he needs my input, my feedback, or maybe even just the certainty that I am in it with him.

In fact, this week, he told me that he started suffering from imposter syndrome when I was sick. In a way, this made me feel very important, but in another way, also very guilty (I know I am sick, but I feel like I am letting him down!)

And sure thing, when I came back to work this week, things were piling up on all ends. Luckily all the people I am working with are just fabulous human beings with the heart at the right place (just throwing you in here too, Tobi).

But still, It was a real sprint to try and catch up with it this week (I haven't managed to do so so far, I will have to put in another working session tomorrow, but I can see the end - next week, my schedule will be back to normal.

Anyhow, I can feel one voice in my head getting loud right now: "Don't be such a f*cking p*ssy; everybody will think that you have such a hard time when, in fact, you don't!" I'm still not working more than 8 hours daily, even though I also work Saturdays.

Also: "What if your clients read this and think you're not up to the job?" If so, don't worry; I am. So far, none of the 4 balls has fallen on my head, and I don't see this happening soon. I just realized that I have to be careful about calculating my capacities.

When everything is going well, one can even keep 6 balls in the air simultaneously. But as soon as some wind arises or some dog is pissing at your leg, things get tricky - and none of the balls want to be dropped.

So yeah, I guess my bottom line here is this: When you start working self-employed, you think you can do it all. It's just so damn exciting to start new projects and opportunities. But you can get your mouth too full (as my mother would say).

I will pay attention to it. For now, I can't wait to get ahead of my assignments again and keep pushing forward instead of running behind. The vision is just so much clearer if you're not walking in the dust cloud that the tasks in front of you drag behind them.